Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
