I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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