I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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