it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Less talking, more tequila
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
