so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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