Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
A bitchslap is in order.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
