The maid of honor just puked.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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