that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
