Me too!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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