I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
