He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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