I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
