Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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