Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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