hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize