The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
