Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
