She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
