he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
