She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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