We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
