I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
