Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's rum buckets o'clock
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
