i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
