you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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