Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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