So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
