Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
