you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
