ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
