My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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