Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She bit a glass in half.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
