I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
As shirtless as possible
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
