Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
