smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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