made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
