i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Actions speak louder than pants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
