He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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