dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
