I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
