i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
