If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He shit in the fireplace
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize