if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
