I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
