Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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