he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize