wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
