yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
