if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize