ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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