Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize