There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
