just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
