If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
