yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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