I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
