I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
