stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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