Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
