Pants 0. Shit 1.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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