I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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