is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You may now shotgun with the bride
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
