I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
