sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
