he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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