he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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