hotel room ftw
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
