I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
