She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
