he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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