I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
