it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
