come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
