Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
