I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
